Welcome to Unsportslike Players Club
Dave was an ordinary bloke who joined his local social sporting club for all the right reasons. To get out of the house. Meet a few people. Have a laugh.
Like most of us, Dave had convinced himself he was a pretty handy athlete back in the day. Not quite good enough for a professional contract or a highlight reel, but just good enough to believe he still had it.
And that’s all it was meant to be. Social sport. Amateur level. Relaxed. Just a game.
Then Dave made the fatal mistake of keeping score.
At first, he wasn’t bothered. Until Barry beat him. Then Steve beat him. Then Barry mentioned it again the following week.
That’s when Dave discovered that nobody likes losing to strangers. But losing to your mates? Completely unacceptable.
Apparently, the most competitive athletes in the world aren’t professionals. They’re amateurs with bragging rights and a round of beers on the line.
“It’s just a game” turns out to be one of the biggest lies ever told in amateur sport.
From there, things escalated quickly… A social game became a personal rivalry. Club championships started feeling suspiciously like world championships. Dave, of course, remained convinced he wasn’t taking it too seriously. Everyone else disagreed.
Soon there were spectacular tantrums, creative excuses and a steadily expanding vocabulary of muttered swear words.
Then came the Club Championships of 2023.
After losing to Phil, Dave shook his hand, forced out a “Good game” through gritted teeth… and hasn’t really spoken to him since.
The funny thing is, every club has a Dave.
If you’ve ever insisted you’re only there for the laughs… right up until somebody else starts winning…, If you’ve replayed one missed shot in your head for three days…, Or quietly celebrated your mate’s terrible game just a little more than your own good one…
Congratulations. You’re Dave.
And that’s exactly why Unsportslike exists: To celebrate the love of playing sport and what competition does to otherwise reasonable people.
Unsportslike Players Club. - For bad sports, foul play, sore losers and even worse winners.
